Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
