ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
