I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
why do cheetos always look like penises
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
MIDGETS
????
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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