I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
