Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
