Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
