My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize