I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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