Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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