There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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