I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
