I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
