I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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