I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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