my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
