drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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