guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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