i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize