im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
