considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
