I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
