So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
