I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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