you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
