its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
