Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is Oprah even human
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
