you mean i was at the winter classic?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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