he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize