i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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