Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
