pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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