Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
