We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
