Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
