they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
