Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
