We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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