I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
