With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
