i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
