1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
