My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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