When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
