somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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