I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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