Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
