I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
