We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
