he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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