I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
