I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
