I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
