This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
