the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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