When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
