kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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