Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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