Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
