so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
God I need to hump something, right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
