Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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