that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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