im holly from the hills drunk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
