that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
