Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think a kid would responsible me up
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
