Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
