I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
