yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
