I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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