After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wish my penis had a tongue
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
