she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
