am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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